recently *
we had our first real snow of the year this morning! i don't think it snowed basically at all last year, unless i'm forgetting something… so i feel ready for a snowy winter ☃️
life has been predictably hectic and strange. i haven't written much about this, or even thought about it much in a holistic sense, but i've been going through on and off periods of debilitating anxiety for most of this year. of course it's been affecting many parts of my life, but somehow when i'm feeling calm and not in the throes of it (like i am right now), i have trouble even remembering that it's happening. as if it was a different me who was experiencing those feelings, and that person does not share memories with the current me.
i'm fairly sure it's a coping mechanism for me to protect myself from those feelings. but anyway, that's all to say that the emotional chaos i've been feeling lately has made it hard for me to keep track of time and
(note: at this point i got distracted and forgot to continue writing but i think that kinda captures my scattered mental state at this moment so i'm publishing this! lol)